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Old 06-08-2006, 03:32 PM   #106
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLoneVR!
I know 3 couples like that!!
Its beautiful to see....and i believe a large majority of ppl can have that.
You will need patience, love, and the other person to be on the same page as u.
what woman is on the same page financially, physically, and emotionally as a guy? especially after 20 years with that same dude?
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:36 PM   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel
what woman is on the same page financially, physically, and emotionally as a guy? especially after 20 years with that same dude?
finances and physical attributes don't play much part in 20 yr long relationships, at least for people that love each other. those things are secondary.
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:41 PM   #108
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e36chick
finances and physical attributes don't play much part in 20 yr long relationships, at least for people that love each other. those things are secondary.
thats exactly wat i was gona say.

Listen i have been through my share of shit....TRUST ME....but i hav hope that I can be happy and make someone happy and Live a happy and fullfilled life with the love of my life....
Having that to look forward too is something that makes me smile....sure things end up ****ing up, but , they also be amazing too.....there is no such things as a down without an UP and vice versa.
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:41 PM   #109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel
I don't think so. Any relationship could be perfect with time, money, and a healthy sex drive. The problem is that no one has all those 3 things... therefor, all relationships are doomed.
Disagree. I think any relationship could be perfect with contentment. There are loads of relationships lacking a healthy financial life, or healthy relationships between couples that are not highly sexually driven. Though I agree time is important for any healthy contemporary co-dependency. (Regardless if that happens to be between man and woman, or a mother and her child.) I believe any happy couple is complacent with a compatible foundation. Although, that compatibility may include things such as financial stability, or sexual affinity, amongst other things. If the couple doesn't have the requirement for a high sex drive, or money beyond basic stability... a relationship can still be perfectly healthy and not 'doomed'.

I feel healthy relationships can be achieved by simply having mutual wants/needs. Those requisites can vary vastly from couple to couple, and problems/breakups will often arise due to communication problems early on in the relationship, or during the relationship. By this I mean lack of expressing and understanding each other's desires while building the relationship's foundation. Without that, the relationship will eventually fail when those inconsistencies build to become intolerable. (i.e. "I want one thing, she wants another. I didn't know she wanted to get married/make a family so soon, I'm not ready for that. She never told me this when we started dating.")

Even beyond this, individuals are always changing---it's easy to have run-away syndrome where one person's wants/needs eventually change from the other's and problems arise. I find this a lot with young adults where high school lovers graduate to different Universities and mature/grow in different environments/lifestyles and their requisites change, sometimes their values as well. (i.e. "We were happy for 5 years, but it's like we don't have anything to talk about anymore. She doesn't seem interested in what I'm doing, and I'm not really that interested in what she has to talk about anymore either. I feel like we're growing apart.")

I do agree that the majority of relationships eventually fail, but I believe much of the time it is for the above reasons. Remember that the above reasons do include having the mutual feelings of how to raise children, sexual desires, and finances. But these things are only possible underlying causes for a relationship's demise; not the high-level reason for the failed relationship.

But what do I know? I'm single right now.

edit: bah, by the time I had the chance to write this you guys already added another few pages of responses...
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:43 PM   #110
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin e36
Disagree. I think any relationship could be perfect with contentment. There are loads of relationships lacking a healthy financial life, or healthy relationships between couples that are not highly sexually driven. Though I agree time is important for any healthy contemporary co-dependency. (Regardless if that happens to be between man and woman, or a mother and her child.) I believe any happy couple is complacent with a compatible foundation. Although, that compatibility may include things such as financial stability, or sexual affinity, amongst other things. If the couple doesn't have the requirement for a high sex drive, or money beyond basic stability... a relationship can still be perfectly healthy and not 'doomed'.

I feel healthy relationships can be achieved by simply having mutual wants/needs. Those requisites can vary vastly from couple to couple, and problems/breakups will often arise due to communication problems early on in the relationship, or during the relationship. By this I mean lack of expressing and understanding each other's desires while building the relationship's foundation. Without that, the relationship will eventually fail when those inconsistencies build to become intolerable. (i.e. "I want one thing, she wants another. I didn't know she wanted to get married/make a family so soon, I'm not ready for that. She never told me this when we started dating.")

Even beyond this, individuals are always changing---it's easy to have run-away syndrome where one person's wants/needs eventually change from the other's and problems arise. I find this a lot with young adults where high school lovers graduate to different Universities and mature/grow in different environments/lifestyles and their requisites change, sometimes their values as well. (i.e. "We were happy for 5 years, but it's like we don't have anything to talk about anymore. She doesn't seem interested in what I'm doing, and I'm not really that interested in what she has to talk about anymore either. I feel like we're growing apart.")



I do agree that the majority of relationships eventually fail, but I believe much of the time it is for the above reasons.

But what do I know? I'm single right now.
VERY WELL PUT!!
My sentiments exaclty
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:45 PM   #111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLoneVR!
thats exactly wat i was gona say.

Listen i have been through my share of shit....TRUST ME....but i hav hope that I can be happy and make someone happy and Live a happy and fullfilled life with the love of my life....
Having that to look forward too is something that makes me smile....sure things end up ****ing up, but , they also be amazing too.....there is no such things as a down without an UP and vice versa.
exactly.
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:45 PM   #112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e36chick
finances and physical attributes don't play much part in 20 yr long relationships, at least for people that love each other. those things are secondary.
Oh really?

And at what age do spouses cheat on each other? what is missing that causes that? You think people cheat because of a lack of love after 20 years? hell no... they cheat cause the significant other isn't doing shit.

You think couples married for 20 years don't have financial problems? kids going to school, tuition to cover, bills to pay, investments go bad, businesses don't do too well, peaople get fired... life ain't easy.
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:50 PM   #113
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel
Oh really?

And at what age do spouses cheat on each other? what is missing that causes that? You think people cheat because of a lack of love after 20 years? hell no... they cheat cause the significant other isn't doing shit.

You think couples married for 20 years don't have financial problems? kids going to school, tuition to cover, bills to pay, investments go bad, businesses don't do too well, peaople get fired... life ain't easy.
people cheat at any age and for any reason. you can't narrow it down to one. but obviously it's because they aren't satisfied.

and also obviously people have financial problems 1, 2 or 50 years into relationships. how you handle it depends on the quality of your relationship. yeah sure financial problems cause stress, but strong relationships won't cave as easily.
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Old 06-08-2006, 03:59 PM   #114
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin e36
Disagree. I think any relationship could be perfect with contentment. There are loads of relationships lacking a healthy financial life, or healthy relationships between couples that are not highly sexually driven. Though I agree time is important for any healthy contemporary co-dependency. (Regardless if that happens to be between man and woman, or a mother and her child.) I believe any happy couple is complacent with a compatible foundation. Although, that compatibility may include things such as financial stability, or sexual affinity, amongst other things. If the couple doesn't have the requirement for a high sex drive, or money beyond basic stability... a relationship can still be perfectly healthy and not 'doomed'.

I feel healthy relationships can be achieved by simply having mutual wants/needs. Those requisites can vary vastly from couple to couple, and problems/breakups will often arise due to communication problems early on in the relationship, or during the relationship. By this I mean lack of expressing and understanding each other's desires while building the relationship's foundation. Without that, the relationship will eventually fail when those inconsistencies build to become intolerable. (i.e. "I want one thing, she wants another. I didn't know she wanted to get married/make a family so soon, I'm not ready for that. She never told me this when we started dating.")

Even beyond this, individuals are always changing---it's easy to have run-away syndrome where one person's wants/needs eventually change from the other's and problems arise. I find this a lot with young adults where high school lovers graduate to different Universities and mature/grow in different environments/lifestyles and their requisites change, sometimes their values as well. (i.e. "We were happy for 5 years, but it's like we don't have anything to talk about anymore. She doesn't seem interested in what I'm doing, and I'm not really that interested in what she has to talk about anymore either. I feel like we're growing apart.")

I do agree that the majority of relationships eventually fail, but I believe much of the time it is for the above reasons. Remember that the above reasons do include having the mutual feelings of how to raise children, sexual desires, and finances. But these things are only possible underlying causes for a relationship's demise; not the high-level reason for the failed relationship.

But what do I know? I'm single right now.

edit: bah, by the time I had the chance to write this you guys already added another few pages of responses...
I'm not reading all of that so I'm just gonna go ahead and say you're wrong until you learn how to use cliffnotes
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:16 PM   #115
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^^^^^
LMFAO
hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaahah
dude u went to cham wat do u mean ur not reading it all....hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:16 PM   #116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel
I'm not reading all of that so I'm just gonna go ahead and say you're wrong until you learn how to use cliffnotes
Those ARE cliffnotes.
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:17 PM   #117
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e36chick
exactly.
Thanks ....of all ppl i didnt expect a girl to agree
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:18 PM   #118
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e36chick
people cheat at any age and for any reason. you can't narrow it down to one. but obviously it's because they aren't satisfied.
You don't eat out of a garbage can when you get steak every night.
You don't cheat when you come home to punani every night.

Quote:
Originally Posted by e36chick
and also obviously people have financial problems 1, 2 or 50 years into relationships. how you handle it depends on the quality of your relationship. yeah sure financial problems cause stress, but strong relationships won't cave as easily.
Which do you think will last longer? (#1) a relationship built on money or (#2) one built on Love?

Example #1


Example #2
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:21 PM   #119
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2 , because the old man is going to die soon
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Old 06-08-2006, 04:22 PM   #120
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel
You don't eat out of a garbage can when you get steak every night.
You don't cheat when you come home to punani every night.


Which do you think will last longer? (#1) a relationship built on money or (#2) one built on Love?

Example #1


Example #2

i know one girl who got married at 23 or 24 against her wishes, it was an arranged marriage. she doesn't vocalize it to everyone, but both her AND her husband cheat, because neither of them wanted to be together in the first place. there's an example of cheating that has nothing to do with lack of sex in their relationship.

and again, you really can't dissect celebrity relationships. Heffner's women are there because they're waiting for him to die any second and reap millions of dollars. Britney has been an attention whore from day 1...and the latest trend in Hollywood seems to be marriage and babies, so what better to do than pick some chump from her dance troupe and get on board, right?
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