ok seings how i get stuff shipped 2-3 times a month to me from the states ill put my 2 cents in
having talked to the drivers and such this is the ways ive figured to get around the border taxes
have the item marked as a gift and have him put the value no more then $60 or they WILL charge you
do not send the seller any more money then cost of the item and shipping cost. brokerage fee's are payed when the item arrives at your door, in cash check or credit card
UPS is known for having the highest brokerage fee's just 2 weeks ago i had a UUC SS clutch line come in, i got 25 bucks in brokerage fee's on a $29 part
USPS is the cheapest for fee's but thats snail mail, fedex is next in line but are known for loosing things!
i have found the best way to ship things is have them shipped to buffalo NY at the UPS store there then pick it up and smuggle if across the boarder myself, infact tommorow im going to pick up 2 tires i order a couple weeks ago
hope this helps!