Middle Lane drivers

MarkD · 03-09-2010, 04:32 PM

Here is an article from the Globe and Mail.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/globe...rticle1491264/

Middle lane? Meet middle finger

Middle lane hoggers, middle lane morons, the middle lane menace, whatever you want to call this odious clan, these drivers are as ubiquitous and dangerous as they are annoying

Andrew Clark

Published on Friday, Mar. 05, 2010 1:50PM EST

Last updated on Monday, Mar. 08, 2010 7:58PM EST

.I have a dream. That one day our nation's three-lane highways will be lined with devices which vaporize vehicles that park themselves in the middle lane and chug along at 80 km/h.

These Middle Lane Annihilators will obliterate driver and car in seconds leaving nothing but a puffy cloud of smoke that is cool for other drivers to pass through.

Wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't it be grand? Highways where slow cars stay in the right lane and traffic flows? After all, the law is straightforward. According to Section 147 of the Highway Traffic Act, on a highway with more than two lanes running in the same direction slow traffic is to occupy the right lane. It should be easy for us all to obey. Right? Right? Bueller? Bueller?

Unfortunately, we're more likely to see peace in the Middle East, unanimous action on climate change and a porn-free Internet before this great day arrives. Middle lane hoggers, middle lane morons, the middle lane menace, whatever you want to call the odious clan, “those of the middle lane” are as ubiquitous and dangerous as they are annoying.

We all recognize middle lane hogs. For some reason the mushy grey rancid porridge between their ears tells them that the safest place on the road is in the centre lane going below the speed limit. Who knows, perhaps some burnout instructor told them so. What's amazing is that there is zero logic at play. When you drive in the middle lane you have traffic going by both sides of your automobile. That's twice the risk from other vehicles. When you, as a slow driver, are in the right lane you have only one stream of traffic going by you and it is going by the driver's side where your blind spot is smallest.

The sight of a middle lane moron is the definition of disabling anxiety. Hunched over the wheel, hands clasped in a tortured grip, bleak eyes staring fearfully forward, a demeanour that one would expect to see on a prisoner who is trying to disassociate during intense questioning, it is as if the middle lane hog is attempting to literally disappear. They are the antithesis of how a competent motorist should appear.

Which leads to the inevitable question: Middle lane moron, if you are that terrified of highway driving what are you doing behind the wheel?

The answer: But if I don't drive in the middle lane how will I enrage/endanger thousands of people?

And don't be deceived, this is more than passive aggressive motoring. These folks effectively transform three-lane highways into a two-lane highways. A 2004 British survey estimated that middle lane drivers and other lane offenders wasted up to a third of highway capacity during peak hours. Drivers must change lanes to avoid hitting them and every time a lane change is made there is an increased risk of an accident occurring. Of course, those of the middle lane will argue that they are forced to find refuge in the centre because of all the aggressive drivers who are constantly changing lanes. The middle laners fail to realize that everyone must switch lanes because they are there, constipating the highway like a stubborn stool, blocking the smooth flow of the middle passage.

Middle laners are especially rough on truckers who in many provinces are not legally allowed to use the far left lane. That makes the centre lane their passing lane. When a driver hogs the middle, truckers are forced to make the more risky pass on the right-hand side. Let's put it in language middle lane morons will understand: “Truck passing right side bad.”

Unfortunately, middle lane mayhem is not restricted to our highways. It is now common to see city motorists making both right and left hand turns from the middle lane. These drivers execute this move as a way of getting out of waiting their turn. Rather than queue up for a right hand turn, they blaze by in the centre lane and turn. It's dangerous, it's submoronic, and it's just the kind of play you'd expect from a person so narcissistic they don't feel the need to wait for their legal opportunity to make a turn. It would be great if we could rig cruise missile technology up to photo radar and use it to fire huge vats of dung at these cars. Or merely use cruise missiles to blow them off the face of the earth.

There has been plenty of hand-wringing about making our roads safer. Why not start by enforcing lane regulations? It's not sexy and it does not involve blowing millions on technology but it might just work.

Until then …

Unconscious you ride.

Soft rock masking fear, turtle.

Middle lane hell-bound.

omid · 03-09-2010, 06:50 PM

great write up

sirex · 03-09-2010, 07:03 PM

lol

My question is if they are driving at 90 km/h then whats the problem???

Apparently were not allowed to speed without going to jail. Who cares.

I dont give a **** any more.. our laws are so ****ing stupid... You go to pass a truck thats doing 100 km, so you do 120 km/h to pass him, then you get hit by radar and get a ticket for speeding.. give me a ****ing break.. our high ways are a joke. our traffic police are a joke.

maroli · 03-09-2010, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sirex

lol

My question is if they are driving at 90 km/h then whats the problem???

Apparently were not allowed to speed without going to jail. Who cares.

I dont give a **** any more.. our laws are so ****ing stupid... You go to pass a truck thats doing 100 km, so you do 120 km/h to pass him, then you get hit by radar and get a ticket for speeding.. give me a ****ing break.. our high ways are a joke. our traffic police are a joke.

yeah, I find it just as annoying when I'm going 10 or 20 over the speed limit and I'm in the middle lane...and people get mad cause they're going at 160 so they think I should be in the right-most lane....where people are going slow because they're exiting. I'm OVER the speed limit and you still want to blow by me and give me a dirty look?

kamus · 03-09-2010, 09:07 PM

Hey Mark I reckon you posted this because you're working on "something" to solve this problem ... and an early version is currently being tested in Toyotas

Arash · 03-09-2010, 10:17 PM

Quote:

unfortunately, we're more likely to see peace in the middle east, unanimous action on climate change and a porn-free internet before this great day arrives.

loll!!

BigD · 03-09-2010, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sirex

My question is if they are driving at 90 km/h then whats the problem???

Mine is, how often do you actually see someone going BELOW the speed limit in the middle lane, when not in traffic? Just because someone isn't speeding as much as you, it doesn't mean they are going BELOW. I've seen only one person going below the limit in a lane other than the right this year so far, and he sped up. And if someone is going the speed limit, even 0 over, they aren't breaking any rules. People like him are the reason I'm not as courteous as I used to be. I don't go out of my way to stay to the right because I know these same assholes wouldn't slow down for me if I needed to pass someone going truly slowly, and I have no interest in speeding just so some asshole with an overzealous sense of entitlement doesn't get his panties in a bunch - he can shut the **** up and wait.

That said though, I was always curious to find out what happened to the charges those dudes got a while back who went on the 401 and drove 100 side by side. I remember they got charged with impeding the flow of traffic or something similar. I'd like to hear that case argued in court: "your worship, they were following the rules so we charged them with getting in people's way who wanted to break them".

King Luis · 03-10-2010, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sirex

lol

My question is if they are driving at 90 km/h then whats the problem???

Apparently were not allowed to speed without going to jail. Who cares.

I dont give a **** any more.. our laws are so ****ing stupid... You go to pass a truck thats doing 100 km, so you do 120 km/h to pass him, then you get hit by radar and get a ticket for speeding.. give me a ****ing break.. our high ways are a joke. our traffic police are a joke.

its true. the traffic laws are so ridiculous that when you drive your instantly breaking the law some how.

imo, people in the slow lane can do what ever they want (figure of speech).
people in the middle lane are passing the people in the slow lane and driving along.
people in the fast lane are passing people in the middle lane then getting back into the middle lane when they are done. thats how it should be. also i think ontario should have the left lane left signal rule like in certain european countries.

StikiGreenZ · 03-10-2010, 10:19 AM

There is definetly a problem in our legal system (HTA). People on both sides of the fence can argue they are obeying the law. What I think should be done is reword the law... give one law precedence over the other. For instance, you have to obey the speed limit BUT you cannot be driving slower than the flow of traffic in the left lane. My wording probably isnt perfect here, but there needs to be some prioritization of the laws so that the left lane law takes precedence over the speeding law.

davericher20 · 03-10-2010, 10:54 AM

yep, I think it's complete bullshit even on a 1 lane highway doing 80, you got the moron who's doing 65-70 you pass him doing 100 and bam. radar.

Don't you want to pass the car as safely as possible? ie: stay on of the wrong side of the road as little as ****ing possible?

Bullet Ride · 03-10-2010, 11:04 AM

The middle lane isn't really the problem, it's the assholes that park themselves in the left lane going 110 that are the problem. They feel like because they are going over the speed limit they are allowed to stay in that lane or something. It's not the "fast lane" its the "passing lane". All the time I find myself passing in the RIGHT lane (which for some reason is wide open... no one wants to drive there apparently) because of all the tards clogging up the left and middle lanes. All cops have to do is start pulling people over and hitting them with fines for driving in the left lane while not passing and you'll see that people will learn pretty quickly.

King Luis · 03-10-2010, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bullet Ride

The middle lane isn't really the problem, it's the assholes that park themselves in the left lane going 110 that are the problem. They feel like because they are going over the speed limit they are allowed to stay in that lane or something. It's not the "fast lane" its the "passing lane". All the time I find myself passing in the RIGHT lane (which for some reason is wide open... no one wants to drive there apparently) because of all the tards clogging up the left and middle lanes. All cops have to do is start pulling people over and hitting them with fines for driving in the left lane while not passing and you'll see that people will learn pretty quickly.

but theres no money there. you see hitting someone is a tried and tested way of making money. most cops don't really care about traffic violations. they sit on the side of the road, nail someone doing 30+km/h and bam, fingers in the pussy.

NOTORIOUS VR · 03-10-2010, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King Luis

also i think ontario should have the left lane left signal rule like in certain european countries.

That's not a rule and it's actually illegal to highbeam/left signal... because it shows that you're "pushing" the guy in front of you out of the way.

People all over the place still do it, but technically you're not allowed/supposed to and you can get a ticket for it if the cop isn't in a good mood. Highbeaming is worse though.

King Luis · 03-10-2010, 01:04 PM

never said anything about high beaming. i'm saying the left signal should be a rule here. helps people indicate that they are passing and can help enforce the left lane hoggers.

also, in portugal atleast, when passing on a highway in the left lane you need to have your left signal on while your in that lane while your passing.

StikiGreenZ · 03-10-2010, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NOTORIOUS VR

That's not a rule and it's actually illegal to highbeam/left signal...

I have never heard of a law against high-beaming someone. Do you recall what section of the HTA says this, or where you heard this? I high-beam on a very regular basis, cant imagine driving in Ontario without it!