Click to go to Forum Home Click to go to maXbimmer Home

Go Back   maXbimmer Forums > Misc > Off-topic
User Name
Password


Welcome to Maxbimmer.com!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 03-05-2009, 10:13 AM   #1
e36_freak
Mostly absent
 
e36_freak's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: mississauga canada
Posts: 2,125
Send a message via ICQ to e36_freak Send a message via MSN to e36_freak
the ostrich story



bored at work thought i'd share a joke i just received.

The Ostrich story...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich,
'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40
Please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change
For payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A
Hamburger, fries and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the
Waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
Salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on
The table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How
Do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every
Time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
Found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
Wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put
My hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million
Dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
As you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
Money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'



The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall
Chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

P/s: Guys! Please be careful with what you wish for !!!


another one...

I urgently needed a few days off work, But I
knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that
maybe if I acted 'Crazy' Then he would tell me to take a
few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny
noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was
pretending to be a light bulb, So that the Boss might think I was
'Crazy'and give me a few days off.


A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and
asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.'
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her,
"...And where do you think you're going?!"
(You're gonna love this....)

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark".
__________________
Life isn't about how many breaths you take, but the moments that takes your breath away.
Giving the government money and power is like giving a teenager whiskey and an M5.

[M]i[K]E[][M]i[K]E[]
e36_freak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2009, 11:26 AM   #2
myndgone
..... kLaSSe~1 .....
 
myndgone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brampton
Posts: 2,943
Send a message via MSN to myndgone
"They say ostrich has less fat, but you eat more of it!!!"
myndgone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2009, 11:52 AM   #3
Fel
Not Banned
 
Fel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Schomberg
Posts: 4,316
... funny
__________________
Fel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-05-2009, 01:15 PM   #4
PinkieMoscow
Jumped up G'd up.
 
PinkieMoscow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Thornhill, ON
Posts: 1,666
hah, those are cute.
__________________
mintdetailing.ca
PinkieMoscow is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:28 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Maxbimmer Copyright 2001 - 2015