Take out your mirror switch and look at the plug. Or, as a general rule of thumb (not 100% certainty) if your car as memory seats/mirrors you likely have the 12 pin plug. I'm assuming your car isn't facelifted, in which case you have the ribbon connectors. Search on e46fanatics.com for more info on this subject, and for pics of the two connectors in question.
'02 ///M5 Imola Red / Imola Red '09 335i Alpine White / Coral Red
'04 E55 AMG Brilliant Silver / Anthracite
'96 318i Alpine White / Black
'01 330Ci Titanium Silver / Coral Red
'96 328i Jet Black / Black