OK, here is the solution I went with. I ordered the H&R Springs 1.25 & 1" drop from a great local company GMP Performance. I ordered the LAD Elimination Kit and Bilstein Sport Shocks from Bavarian Auto.
I talked to a guy here that rebuilds those transmissions all the time. He said to just buy the mode switch since it is bad. He said, because everything is ultimately linked through it, if its bad it can cause alll those codes. I ordered it from BMW.
Transmission: $ 65.00
Much better than