Originally Posted by lvan
This is nothing new. I have seen many times when some chick would marry some guy for status and have a partner on a side. Some of them do it because they can control the guy so bad. Some of them get married because they fear that her age is coming up for marriage. Also you have to be very naive to think everything will get better. When you get older with her, she would find some younger guy to please her on regular basis. As you may notice, this kind of behaviour does not come at age of 40... It was in her blood ever since...
My advise would be:
I would first man up and face the facts.
Eliminate any risk by dumping her.
Also I would not look down on Scarborough while at the same time moving up north. If you can fetch some serious cash, Scarborough has its jewls. It is just the media propaganda that make it look so bad. This is done for the reasons to cover up crime rate in Western part of Toronto. It all comes from our mayors and other big fish that have all the strings in their hands. Trust me.
LOL I hardly doubt my gf is marrying me for status or potential. She loves animals and under privileged children. All she wants to do at the moment is start a sanctuary for abandoned animals and adopt a kid which I am sure she could do without a guy in her life. She's never tried to control me either except when it involved other girls. She's encouraged me to move up there to Owen Sound but she'll understand and adjust if I stayed here. The problem is she doesn't have a lot of options so telling her to move puts her in a much bigger bind than it does me.
Now whether things are going to continue getting better is something that's beyond my ability to comprehend. All I know is it's getting better NOW and it has over the last 3 weeks since we got back together. Hell, even she feels more confident about us than I do. Your advice is sound and I would go with it the moment I suspect inevitable disloyalty and betray of trust.
I do agree about the Scarborough bit but since I don't live there I can't really say for sure that it's as bad as they make it sound. I always get the impression that Toronto people care a lot less about the west end than they do about the east. Maybe it's just me.