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spooner_dee 01-23-2006 09:55 PM

Need some advice
Ok guys (and gals) My fiance dropped a bomb on me tonight and i need some advice as to what you guys would do.

First a little background info. I was born on long island NY where i lived till i was about 12, from there i moved to here Pennsylvania where i have been for the last 12-13 years or so. About a year ago, after taking care of my parents house for a few years while they lived in florida they came back and sold the house and i now live on my own in an apartment. Basicly what it comes down to, is i left all my friends behind b4 it sucked it was hard i left behind everything i knew. Now here where i live is everything i know and everyone i know Ive just gotten used to living where i am and being comfy with everything.

So my girl calls me last night and tells me that she has something big to discuss with me and needs to do it in person. When she came home today we sat down and had a talk. Her parents own and run their own business, And in recent events they ran into some trouble and would like my fiance to come work for them to help them, and as luck would have it (whether it be good or bad) they also have one of their employees quiting who has a fairly important job. He is the warehouse manager for their company, and My girl recomended me for the job. Needless to say they loved the idea and want to take me on. In taking this job they will provide me with an apartment that they own and charge me about what i pay now which isnt that much, and the apartment is literally next door to where i work so i wouldnt have to cummute ever, id save a ton on gas and milage on my car, and id be taking home about twice as much as i do now each month. With all that money id have my car and all my debts payed off in no time.

Now i know all that sounds good, and i was totally on board untill she droped the real big bomb. Which is i have to decide if i want to do this in about 2 weeks. I have about 2 weeks to give an answer and if i say yes, in about 2 months im moving to conneticut.

Granted me and my fiance already made plans to move to Maine when we get married but that is'nt for about another 2 years or so. So in that case i had time, time to get ready time to prepare time to make sure i had things taken care of and most importantly time to spend with my friends and say goodbye.

And as another downer im on a year lease with my current apartment, if i break it b4 the year is up i lose my deposit and between the time i leave and the time the next occupant moves in if it turns out to be like 2 months, i still have to pay rent here till someone else moves in. Granted if i do decide to go i can inform the landlord and give them 2 months to find someone to move in, but i think ill still lose my deposit.

So i dont know what to do, i mean i can make real good money, pay all my debts off, we can go to hawaii for our honey moon all that stuff, But i have to basicly drop my life and just go and say bye to all my friends and everything i know pretty much now.

So knowing all that hearing all that, what would you guys do. Please try and be serious, jokes are cool but i need some real opinions here.

oh and as for the town, its a small quiet broing country town, nothing exciting, for miles really. I dont mind that, but ill be cut off from alot of things unless i travel.

propr'one 01-23-2006 10:09 PM

i was gonna say ****it until you used the word fiance. think about it man, if you're seriously gonna marry this girl, it would be perfect to be in with her fam. the extra money is gonna be great, especially if you plan on having kids in the future. most importantly you have to decide if the job itself is what you like. if you're pulling in tons of cash (twice as much as you are now, on a salary you already drive a BM on) will be pretty good, you'll be able to travel and see your friends. On the one hand staying with what's comfortable is great, but on the other, you gotta take some risks. Pretty much what it comes down to is whichever way you go, it'll turn out well for you. obviously i dont know all the details, but if i were in your position, i'd most likely take the new job. (FI on the BM, who could say no?)

and about it being a small boring place-- you'll always find things to do, interesting people, etc. im not saying the friends you have will ever be replaced by other people, but even small towns have their charm. its up to you man, im sure you'll make the right call*th-up*

spooner_dee 01-24-2006 01:57 PM

thanks for a serious reply pro, im seriously considering doing it, i mean to pass up that money (not saying ill be rich) but id be a fool. I could make a small fortune doing this.

BlitzSix 01-24-2006 02:02 PM

But if you say no, are you basically breaking up with your fiance? Or is she just gonna move there for a few years and then move back, or what ?

King Luis 01-24-2006 02:43 PM

coles notes.

jstalin 01-24-2006 03:11 PM

If you love her, then go for it.

Miguel 01-24-2006 03:39 PM

not reading that.


spooner_dee 01-24-2006 08:52 PM


Originally Posted by BlitzSix
But if you say no, are you basically breaking up with your fiance? Or is she just gonna move there for a few years and then move back, or what ?

if i dont go, then she wont go either. SO that put some extra pressure on me. She told her parents its a 2 for one, either we both go or no one goes. So if i dont go then her parents wont get her to help the company.

for those asking for cliffs, either read it or dont. im not going to dumb it down for you, open a book do some reading for once, thats what a FORUM is for.

Not trying to be an ass, just under alot of pressure at the moment.

propr'one 01-24-2006 08:58 PM


Originally Posted by jstalin
If you love her, then go for it.

i dont like this guy's posts very much, but he hit the nail on the head with this one

spooner_dee 01-24-2006 09:05 PM


Originally Posted by proprone
i dont like this guy's posts very much, but he hit the nail on the head with this one

well yeah, that plays a huge part in it, and of course i love her, and we are going to get married, just i wasn prepared to just drop my current life and rush off to something so sudden.

as it stands now im at about 60% im going 20% not sure and 20% not going.

the more and more i think about it, looks like i just might do it.

I have to admit all the extra money has put a million ideas in my head for my car lol, so thats been one very calming pleasing thought in all this mess.

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