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-   -   Why Chuck Norris drives a GT-R, LMFAO! (http://www.maxbimmer.com/forums/showthread.php?t=130916)

AMG_POWER 03-17-2010 06:39 PM

Why Chuck Norris drives a GT-R, LMFAO!
 
Chuck Norris turns 70 today. Rumor has it he bought himself a Nissan GT-R for his birthday. This is why:

Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal to a GT-R.

Chuck Norris and Mr T. got into a GT-R and drove to a bar. The bar instantly exploded as that much AWESOME can’t be contained in one place.

A tsunami that hit the Oregon Coast reportedly caused by an earthquake in Japan was actually the result of early engine dyno runs by the GT-R.

If you tattoo GT-R on your chest you will instantly become a superhero with the ability to take down Batman, Superman, Spiderman and the Hulk all together in a cage fight.

Order a Big Mac at the drive thru of a Burger King in a GT-R and they’ll get you one. For free!

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to the GT-R idling at rest.

In honor of GT-R, all McDonald’s in Japan have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be GT-R-sized.

Han Solo thought the Millennium Falcon was fast until he drove the GT-R.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless a GT-R has driven by. In that case the grass is now scorched earth.

When taking the SAT, write “GT-R” for every answer. You will get a perfect score.

If you Google search “GT-R getting its ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

Driving a GT-R Walter Rohrl completed TWO full laps of the Nurburgring in 7.48. He can no longer bring himself to drive a Porsche and will demo the

GT-R’s air conditioning at Nissan press launches.

Luke was conceived in the back seat of a GT-R.

The GT-R has no tachometer. Its engine speed is measured on the Richter Scale.

The GT-R doesn’t need or want a HEMI.

There are no “GT-R Kill” threads on any automotive forum. A GT-R can’t be beat.

The GT-R holds the lap record for every Formula One Grand Prix track ever used.

The GT-R can touch MC Hammer. In fact the GT-R ran his ass over.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears GT-R pajamas.

From now on The Stig will only drive the GT-R.

When the GT-R launches. It isn’t moving forward, it’s pushing the Earth back.

Diamonds can be created by driving the GT-R over lumps of coal.

The GT-R has no windshield wipers. The GT-R is too fast for rain to touch it.

Used oil from the GT-R isn’t recycled. It’s used as the major ingredient in energy drinks.

The GT-R was what Willis was talkin’ about.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for a GT-R.

There are two types of cars…cars that suck, and the GT-R.

Upon hearing that a GT-R will run Le Mans next year, Audi pulled out.

Gran Turismo 5 will only have one car—the GT-R. Everything else is now redundant.

The speed of light is equal to the GT-R’s top speed…in first gear.

The GT-R made the Kessel run in less than SIX par secs.

There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never been on a date with a guy in a GT-R.

Mr T. pities the fool…unless that fool is driving the GT-R.

Running the GT-R’s A/C with the windows down will reverse global warming. On max it will cause the next Ice Age.

In Jurassic Park, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t chasing the jeep. A GT-R was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Rules of fighting: 1) Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. Rules of racing: 1) Don’t bring a Veyron to race a GT-R.

propr'one 03-17-2010 09:02 PM

meh, GTR's are ok.

Junaid 03-17-2010 10:57 PM

saw one today on the 402 heading east towards london

Dado 540 03-17-2010 11:47 PM

So veyron can't beat gtr?

PinkieMoscow 03-18-2010 01:57 AM

I really don't like the gtr it kinda lame.

maroli 03-18-2010 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PinkieMoscow (Post 1400758)
I really don't like the gtr it kinda lame.

how's it lame? I mean, its not very nice looking and too big, but it's anything BUT lame. it'll destroy every production BMW ever made and can be picked up used in the states for less than 60k .

craz azn 03-18-2010 11:44 AM

Saw a clean Silver GTR in Streetsville yesterday. Sounded like a minivan just puttering by.

magnus 03-18-2010 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dado 540 (Post 1400721)
So veyron can't beat gtr?

I doubt it around track....straightline though offcourse it can.
Maybe someone can post the Nurburgrind time for both for comparison.
If i remember correctly its in the 7min 40 something for the veyron 14-15 seconds more than what the GTR is suppose to do it!

PinkieMoscow 03-18-2010 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maroli (Post 1400791)
how's it lame? I mean, its not very nice looking and too big

Answered the question. That really is the only reason I don't like it. It's way to large and ugly.

AMG_POWER 03-18-2010 02:49 PM

I love it!

MiroE36 03-18-2010 03:53 PM

that shit is awesome.

Mad Cow 03-18-2010 05:02 PM

I don't like it that much, but I saw the meanest one downtown a few months ago. It was painted matte black and likely a full exhaust without cats. It sounded like thunder when it took off and left a smell that stayed for a good 5 minutes. I wonder how long it'll take for it to get pulled over and charged with removing the cats.

tg07lq 03-18-2010 11:43 PM

one up this end too, niagara.
ive heard good things, but also heard that if you use the launch control, one it voids warranty and two a couple launches will kill your tranny. also is it true its not fully unlocked unless on a track as per gps co-ordinates?

AMG_POWER 03-19-2010 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tg07lq (Post 1401124)
one up this end too, niagara.
ive heard good things, but also heard that if you use the launch control, one it voids warranty and two a couple launches will kill your tranny. also is it true its not fully unlocked unless on a track as per gps co-ordinates?

all lies. dont belive this bs.

maroli 03-19-2010 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tg07lq (Post 1401124)
one up this end too, niagara.
ive heard good things, but also heard that if you use the launch control, one it voids warranty and two a couple launches will kill your tranny. also is it true its not fully unlocked unless on a track as per gps co-ordinates?

haha, if you use the launch control too much, yes it voids your warranty. The LC for the '08 model year launched very hard so repeated starts weren't good for the tranny. The software was revised for 09 so that launches were kinder. The top speed is locked to 180 kmph unless its on a track, but that's for Japan only. Here, you're free to go as fast as you want until your car is towed.


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